Two large Guinnesses please, barman!

Hello everyone. We arrived back from Erin on the nightboat last night. Yoda has made a full recovery, and is ready to look after his pub again. (And his staff too. Teresa, yours is not the only pay cheque not paid yet).

So tonight’s discussion is all about Ireland. I am 100% Irish myself-out of Waterford by Mayo. However, when I say that with my perfect Oxford/BBC diction, it gets some funny looks. That’s when I tell ’em I am working undercover 😉

Yes, I was raised in England by my immigrant parents, and thus lost out on a fine Irish education. It’s true that the Irish are smarter than the English, and that is why the latter are always doing us down, to make them feel better. Bless! With citizen ambassadors in every corner of the world, the sun never sets on the Irish Empire. Are you for us, or a guinness?

Of course, the devil has been hard at work in Blarney. I remember the shame I felt when taking the kids to the beach there some years back: As I stepped out of the car I trod on a used condom. The media stinks of anti Catholic propaganda on every channel and in every rag. The liturgical abuses seem universal.

There is some hope: following the sudden death of the celtic tiger, people are finding it easier to talk to priests than to bank managers. Vast new empty housing estates act as monuments to those times when common sense was sacrificed to the god of avarice.

Yoda got to meet some old mates: Obi Wan Kenobi has reinvented himself as “DeeJay Ale C.”

Chewbacca has taken up chewing baccy. Hans Solo has turned out be a right jerk.

10 responses to this post.

  1. Posted by Brother Burrito on July 4th, 2018 at 09:16

    Reblogged this on Burrito's Stable and commented:

    Again, this is from 2010, and is a paean to Irishness. Please visit the site and read the excellent comments made there


  2. Posted by Brother Burrito on August 12th, 2010 at 00:54

    With a name like Kathleen, you had to have some Irish in you!

    I am the same, I feel more at home among the Irish than any other people. I cannot help it, I am not a “racist”.

    Yoda’s birthday present to me the other day was a question:

    “Tell me, Burrito, when you were born, did you come into the world like a star from the sky, or out of it like a leaf from a tree?”

    That’s a very good question, I replied, and I am still thinking about it.

    Everyone should.


  3. Posted by kathleen on August 12th, 2010 at 00:20

    I’m half Irish myself, and my very earliest memory in life is sitting on my father’s lap when I was very tiny, and his singing to me in his beautiful deep voice, “In Dublin’s fair city, where the girls are so pretty……..”. We never lived in Ireland though, and we have only gone back there as tourists. Yet strangely enough, it is a place I feel very much at home in.


  4. Posted by Brother Burrito on August 12th, 2010 at 00:16

    Hi Mimi,

    I didn’t understand liturgical abuses until I discovered Damian’s blog and Frs Z, Finigan and the rest. I used to just do what everyone else did at whichever church I attended to hear Holy Mass.

    As I have got older, I have noticed that some liturgies are unholy: they emphasise the personalities of the priest, the readers, the eucharistic ministers the choir or the congregation rather than emphasising the Holy Re-presentation of the Sacred Paschal Mysteries.

    Mass is a special time out from worldly things, a time to lift our hearts and minds to that special place where God IS. This isn’t helped by jokey, over-familiar priests, intrusive para-celebrants, or liturgical dancing (ring a ring a rosary??). In Eire, just last week, I witnessed gross deviation from the rubrics of the Mass liturgy. The latter is supposed to be universal.

    Some of the music and lyrics of modern hymns also sicken, and confuse me. They sound like hippy ramblings.

    Sorry to display so much of my hardening of the neurones.

    Re youtube links, I only know there are loads of ’em, but I have none to hand. Have you tried searching there for ‘catholic liturgical abuse’? Good luck!

    (Sorry we couldn’t accommodate your piece for Norn Iron Man for July 12th over at CP&S. Too disorganised, we were, as yoda might say).


  5. Posted by Mimi on August 11th, 2010 at 23:21

    Northern Ireland is a strange and fascinating place to me too, despite the fact that I was born and reared in Belfast! The ‘Troubles’ overshadowed most of my life, of course, and turned me into an adrenaline junkie. When I finally moved South to find work, I found Dublin really flat and boring — it just wasn’t dangerous enough. Weird, eh? Then I became a mother and became suddenly grateful for boring normality! I’m glad my kids grew up down here, but I still think of Belfast as home.

    May I just say that in all my life I have never witnessed any of the liturgical abuses written about so often on English blogs. What on earth is a “clapping Gloria”? Or an “Alleluia-ch-ch”? Can anyone provide a YouTube link or something? I really feel I should suffer through them at least once, just so I can properly sympathise with you all! My parish church still has communion rails — and we used them until about 5 years ago. I have a nasty fear that Ireland is just behind the times, as usual, and that all this rubbish will start to creep in here just when it is being discredited and discarded everywhere else….


  6. Posted by johnhenrycn on August 10th, 2010 at 07:55

    This was a comment by a blogger called “YelperO” on Harry Mount’s blog on “Emma Thompson” yesterday:

    …we are all becoming used to Estuary English, which distorts all the vowels and turns them into diphthongs, (I call it the arse-hole accent, because of the way they are squeezed out!).

    I knew it would come to me. Just wish hadn’t at 2:30 a.m.


  7. Posted by Brother Burrito on August 10th, 2010 at 01:49


    You are clearly a contrariast!

    When I grew up, BBC diction was the way stuff woz sed.

    And estuaries are where all the wildlife iz innit?


  8. Posted by johnhenrycn on August 10th, 2010 at 00:16

    However, when I say that with my perfect Oxford/BBC diction…

    BBC? I wish I could find where I was reading today (somewhere on TeleBlogs, I think), about how it’s been taken over by Estuary wannabees. It’ll come to me.


  9. Posted by Brother Burrito on August 9th, 2010 at 23:40

    Northern Ireland is a strange and fascinating place to me. I first went there (1991) for the wedding of a close friend, while the troubles were still hot, and the British army presence was disturbing: Walking along a suburban street, you might suddenly find a fully battle armed squaddie emerging, with his gun at the ready, from behind a garden wall, or coming out of Woolworths. Bizarre, in the extreme. I was staying with Catholic friends and we visited mainly Catholic parts of Belfast. The social scene was fantastically vibrant, and the wedding was an excellent affair.

    The second time, I went there to do a fortnight’s locum at Antrim Hospital. The troubles were on hold (2000), and I met staff and patients from both sides of the divide. My Irish and British background helped me to gel easily with them. I left with a strong liking for the place. The people are so bright, intelligent and humorous. The women are gorgeous, too!

    If one judges NI by the likes of Gerry Adams and Ian Paisley, you will judge the place very poorly. It is so sad that such a blessed place has been plagued by sectarian violence. It is the devil’s work, assuredly, so it is.


  10. Posted by The Raven on August 9th, 2010 at 22:30

    I was in Belfast for the first time a little while ago; it’s a little unnerving to find yourself in places that were the topos of childhood nightmares about a civil war that filled the nightly news throughout the seventies and eighties.

    It’s also an “interesting” being there as a Catholic Englishman, because you are going to be on the wrong side of any argument/cultural assumption.

    All that said, I found it a friendly place and I really enjoyed the local bars cultural establishments.


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